The Day(s) After Daniel Was Born

I usually intend my posts to be funny.  There isn't much funny about this one.  No matter how minor the problem, when you find out there is something wrong with your newborn baby, it's devastating.  Here I'll tell you about it....


I didn't get to bed the night Daniel was born until about 4am.  I sat in the recovery room for about 2 hours, and cried because there were no private rooms.  No private rooms meant that I had to go sleep in a room with some random person. Nobody was allowed to come with me! I hated it.  I finally got to my room around 3:30. My "roommate" was hysterical crying.  I didn't want to say anything so I pretended I was sleeping.  At about 5:00 the courier came to pick up the cord blood and then at 6:00 Daniel was delivered to me so I could feed him.  I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and there was nobody around to help me.  I tried my best, and that was that.  It was amazing holding him and attempting to feed him.  He latched on very well and I fed him for quite a while. At around 7:00 the nursery staff came and took him back to the nursery.  Between 7:00 and 10:00 so much happened.  My gyn came to check on me, a nurse came to take blood, another Dr. came in to check on me. I slept for maybe 2 hours all night.  


Something's wrong with my baby?!?!?
At 10:00 Daniel's pediatrician came in to see me and told me that there was something wrong.  She explained to me that Daniel was born with too many red blood cells which, if not taken care of immediately, could have been very bad. She told me effective immediately Daniel would have to stay in the nursery and have IV fluid.  She tried to break it lightly, but running on no sleep, have just given birth, and being in a room with a stranger, I completely broke down.  I cried... (almost) the entire time I was in the hospital.  I googled the condition and it made it a million times worse.  I cried even harder.  Another pediatrician came in about an hour later and yelled at me-"What are you crying about? No crying here! Stop crying!!!" She explained the condition as being dehydrated, but that's not what google said, so I continued to cry.

Me Crying

It was the day after Daniel was born at around 1:30 and he still didn't have a name.  I LOVED the name Daniel and wanted (my whole pregnancy) to name him Daniel after my dad.  Timothy LOVED the name Ryan.  It was either going to be Ryan Daniel or Daniel Ryan.  We flipped a coin. I chose heads, and I won! I was so happy, I stopped crying for about 5 minutes.  


Somehow I held it together when visitors came.  I didn't even really know and understand what was wrong with Daniel, so I didn't want to have to break the news to everyone else.  I just told everyone he was dehydrated. I didn't want to talk about because I would have started to cry again.

Me, Mimi, PamPam, and Grandma looking at Daniel

Mimi, me and Daniel

  


I tried very hard, but I couldn't stop crying. Everyone on the floor had their babies with them and mine was confined to the nursery.  I wasn't even allowed to feed him.  They had to monitor the amount of fluids he was getting every 2-3 hours, so I wasn't even able to nurse him.  This was even more devastating. I stayed with him in the nursery as much as possible, but some of the nurses weren't very welcoming.  I felt like I didn't even know my own baby. 

Watching someone else feed my baby.

It was Memorial Day weekend so I'm assuming the best staff wasn't working. Nobody advised me and I walked the halls aimlessly when no visitors were allowed.  My roommate had some crazy, religious music playing and was singing crazy songs.  I went to the nursery when I was "allowed", but even then I never really felt welcome. On Saturday morning I went in to see Daniel. A nurse was feeding him and told me she felt bad that I had planned on nursing and now wasn't going to be able to.  WHAT?!?!? I wasn't going to be able to nurse? Another nurse explained that if I wanted to even have a chance of being able to nurse Daniel, I would have to start pumping.  Once the nursing staff came in for the day, I explained that I need a breast pump.  The nurse told me that they save the pumps for their NICU moms and I wasn't allowed to have one.  She gave me a manual breast pump (yeah, it's probably exactly how you're picturing it.. one boob at a time).  I laid in my bed "pumping".  Nothing was coming out.  I was determined to make it work and continued to try when I got home. 


On Saturday afternoon it was time for me to be discharged, but Daniel was going to have to stay in the hospital. Talk about crying.... 


The first night home was horrible. It may sound weird, but after carrying a baby for 9 months and then being separated from him, it was tough. Everyone told me to enjoy a good night sleep, but that was impossible.  I was without my baby for the first time in 9 months.  I slept a little and cried a lot.  I got up the next day very early, so I could return to the hospital to see Daniel.  

The Birth!

Wow it's been quite a while since I last posted.  Working full time with a baby is no joke! Thank God Daniel has so many people who love him that also help us a lot!! I have a million things that I should be doing instead, but I'll finally write about the birth of Daniel Ryan.

Timeline of the day Daniel was born:
6:00 Water breaks - fiasco with the PH strips in the bathroom
6:30 My mom comes to get me and bring me to the hospital.  We stop at the bank first. (?!)
7:00 Arrive at the hospital. 2cm dilated.
7:15 Walk into the tiniest room I've ever seen.
10:45 My sister arrives
11:00 Timothy arrives
12:00 5cm dilated
12:45 Epidural
8:45 9cm dilated
9:45 Start pushing
10:15 Epidural turned off. Dr. tells me to "rest"
10:45 Start pushing again
11:46 Daniel is born

At 6:30am on Thursday May 26, 2011 my mom came over to bring me to the hospital.  I had just moved into a new place so I didn't have much stuff.  With my water leaking, I decided to put Bounty paper towels in my underwear for the short ride to the hospital.  Surprisingly they worked very well.  I got to the hospital and the doctor did a test to see if my water actually did break.  It clearly did and I was 2cm dilated.  I was admitted into, which we would later find to be, the worst room ever. I walked in and there were mirrors everywhere.  Not thinking I said "what the hell are all these mirrors for?!" That's not really my thing.  I told the nurse she could get rid of them. My contractions were pretty bad, but nothing more than what I had experienced when I was in pre-term labor.  My mom was with me initially, but said she couldn't stay because she couldn't bare to see me in pain.  Once my sister arrived my mom was out in a flash!

The day was really boring.  We watched stupid TV shows including Wipe Out and that stupid singing show with Wayne Brady.  There were about a million episodes of each on.  I read trashy magazine, and was actually pretty comfortable the entire day.  Laying there I actually thought to myself "I could do this again!"  We were waiting for me to be dilated but the Dr. wouldn't check because, since my water had broke, they didn't want to introduce any infection.  I asked how I would know when it was time to start pushing and the nurses kept telling me "you'll know.. you'll feel pressure".  I felt absolutely nothing, so thank God they actually decided to check at 8:45 after laying there for 13+ hours.

I swear the room we were in was a broom closet converted to a overflow room.   It literally was the size of a broom closet and didn't have any air conditioning. The room was so hot, we couldn't even close the door.  They put a curtain over the door, but how embarrassing.. the whole damn floor heard every sound coming from my room! To be honest, it didn't even cross my mind at that point, but thinking about it now.. yeah a little embarrassing.  Whatever! lol I started pushing at 9:45.  I guess I was unsuccessfully pushing (of the Dr. and the nurse were too hot to stay in the room) because the Dr. told me to rest, turned off the epidural and said he'd be back in 15 minutes.  I didn't really rest, I just laid there thinking "WTF? I'd like to leave this room to cool off as well!"  The Dr. came back in 30 minutes and I started pushing again.  The Dr. and the nurse took turns walking out to cool off.  About 20 minutes before Daniel was born I lost it.  I was dripping sweat, and honestly didn't think I was going to be able to do it. It had to have been 80 degrees (at least) in the room. The nurse finally brought me ice packs to put on my neck and head.  I was so mad, I guess my pushing skills became more successful because Daniel was born shortly after.

It was amazing.  Probably the most amazing thing I'll ever experience.  But to be honest, I was glad it was over.  It was hard work and it was really gross.  All the blood and guts, and pulling out the umbilical cord.  I gagged. But above all it was amazing. Daniel cried like a goat. It was so cute. He was perfect in every single way.

While I was pushing, there was an episode of Rookie Blue on.  One Republic's song "Good Life" was playing in the background.  I cried hysterically every time I heard that song for about 2 months.  I'm OK now! It's Daniel's song :))))

My Pregnancy Part II

It's been a while! Just got back from vacation in Florida. 


Being Pregnant
Once I hit 13.5 weeks the morning sickness was gone and it was smooth sailing.... well sort of! I worked throughout the entire pregnancy and I was in love with the time off (midwinter recess, spring break, etc).  During spring break I was 32 weeks pregnant, wasn't feeling great and felt the baby moving A LOT! I had read that this could be a sign of distress so I called the doctor.  He called me back about 6 hours later and told me to go to his partner's office to be monitored.  I drove all the way to the south shore to be monitored.  After about 20 minutes the doctor walked in and said "did you feel that?" I had no idea what he was talking about.  A few minutes later he said again "did you feel THAT?" I was getting a little nervous; what the hell was he talking about? What was I supposed to feel? Anyway turned out I was having pretty serious contractions 2-3 minutes apart. Soooooooo I drove totally out of my way to find out that I was in preterm labor and I had to go to the hospital (which is literally steps away from my house).  I called Timothy and we went to the hospital.  We really weren't ready for the baby to be born, but Timothy thought it would be great for him to be born that day - it was 4/20.  I got a few shots to stop the contractions, spent the night being monitored and was sent home.  


Bed rest?! Get the hell out of here!
At around 36 weeks the doctor wanted me to take it easy for a few days.  I was looking forward to a few days off from work.  I figured I'd lay in bed and sleep for 3 days straight.  Boy was I wrong.  On the first day I had 14 hours straight of contractions.  When I had gone into preterm labor the first time, the doctor told me that once the contractions were unbearable, I should go to the hospital.  The contractions were clearly not unbearable, because I continued to lay in bed for 14 hours.  After about 12 hours I got nervous and called the doctor.  He wasn't available so of course the nurse on duty told me to go to the hospital.  At this point I was a regular at labor and delivery.  I got to the hospital and the doctor that saw me first saw my contractions and said "nice pattern, great contractions, this is how babies are born!"  A few minutes later they did a check and the doctor declared "Your cervix is completely closed". My thoughts: Uhmmmm WHAT?!! 14 hours of contractions did absolutely nothing?! How am I gonna get this baby out?!?!!? 


Leaking...
At exactly 37 weeks my sister came over for a visit and to put the border up in Daniel's room.  It was actually the day that the world was supposed to end 5/21.  We were really busy all day with projects around the house.  Her and Christopher left at around 11:30.  I went to the bathroom and realized that I was leaking. I had no idea what it was.  Did my water break? I called my sister and she came back.  I made her read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and tell me what was going on.   I refused to read that book - everything in it scared the shit out of me!  Turned out it was "probably" not my water, so I went to sleep. Yeah, I could have gone to the hospital, but at this rate I was almost embarrassed to go.  I continued "leaking" for the next 4 days. I honestly had no idea what it was, so I just figured I was peeing my pants. Yeah it was embarrassing, but in my head it was the only logical explanation.  I read online that amniotic fluid is high in PH, so I sent my mom on a hunt to find PH strips on Tuesday night 5/24.  She came back with some crazy diabetic test strips. The next day, 5/25, at work I asked one of the science teachers if they had PH strips in the lab. She came back a few minutes later with PH strips.  I could finally figure out if my leaking was my water! I went into the bathroom and made my mom come in with me (She USED to work at the same school). I made her use a PH strip too. Nothing happened with either of our strips and my mom said "these are so old... they'd never even work". About an hour later I went to the bathroom, saw blood and it scared the crap out of me.  I called the doctor - and yeah you guessed it - he sent me to the hospital.  My mom and I both left work to go to labor and delivery.  They did an exam and I was 2cm dilated, but the "leaking" was only cervical fluid.  We only spent an hour at the hospital and I was fine so we went back to work.  


Don't get dressed, just GET OVER HERE!!!!
The next morning, 5/26, I woke up to go to the bathroom at around 4:00.  I felt something weird, but I figured it was just cervical fluid again.  Timothy left for work at 4:40 and I went back to sleep.  At 6:00 I got up for work and my pants were soaked. I though "whoa there cervical fluid..." Just for the hell of it I figured I'd use those old, useless PH strips to check the fluid on my pants.  Wasn't I surprised - the PH strips changed all crazy colors.  I called my mom and told her to get over to my place as soon as possible. My exact words "don't get dressed, just get over here!!"  I waited (on a plastic folding chair) for 30 minutes for her to get to my place (she lives .5 miles away).  As she walked in the door, I yelled "I told you not to get dressed!"  I brought her to the bathroom to see all of the PH strips.  At this point water was dripping down my leg.  Today was the day!!!!


I guess I lied - the birth next time!

My Pregnancy - Part I

This picture was taken 5 days before Daniel was born.

This picture is crazy! I can't believe I ever looked like that.  I never felt like I looked like that.  Guess that's a good thing.  So here goes about the lovely 37 weeks that I was pregnant.  

October 3, 2010 I found out I was pregnant.  That day I took 3 pregnancy tests. I took a test everyday for the next 5 days until I could finally see a doctor.  Yep, they were all positive.  My regular doctor couldn't see me for 3 weeks, so I decided to go to an urgent center (for colds, flu, broken bones etc.) Although I had none of those things, I felt this was pretty urgent.  The triage nurse thought I was nuts.  I told her I took 8 pregnancy tests and they were all positive. She screamed "A positive pregnancy test means you're pregnant! What are you doing here?"  My response "My boyfriend is in denial, my sister told me I could have a tumor growing hair and teeth, I need to see a doctor." Needless to say they found an "emergency" appointment with my regular doctors partner.  Yeah, they probably figured I was nuts!

October 8, 2010 I saw the doctor.  He confirmed I was 5 weeks pregnant. The first week I walked around in a fog, not really accepting the fact that I was pregnant (that didn't last long....) At 6 weeks pregnant the morning sickness kicked in.  I was SO sick for 7.5 weeks.  I threw up at least twice every day, once being at the same exact time, same exact stall at work.  I had to start work at 8:02, but at approximately 7:45 everyday I was in the end bathroom stall puking my brains out.  I really don't know how I got through the sickness without missing a single day of work.  What's worse, as a teacher I'm not allowed to leave my classroom for anything when the students are there.  So that meant, puking in the garbage can while I was teaching.  I don't remember the first day that I did this, but I do remember the students' reactions. Some freaked out, some were unphased, ONE speculated that I was pregnant.  I continued to puke in the garbage can during 4th period at least once a week.  Each time I had a different excuse - I'm hungover. My bff tried to poison me. I drank sour milk. I ate too much for breakfast. You name it, I used it as an excuse.  A funny exchange between students at about 12 weeks pregnant.  The student who speculated in the beginning said to another student "I'm gonna be Ms. O's babysitter." The other student responded "Ms. O's not pregnant, she's just fat." I guess I was putting on weight.  I started eating crunch cheez doodles during class.  I told the class I had a tape worm - they believed me. I ended up being able to keep my pregnancy a secret (from the students) until 18 weeks. 

WE NEED TO TELL THE WORLD!!!
When the morning sickness began, it was hard to keep the pregnancy secret from the people I worked with.  Most people figured it out, but I told my closest colleagues at 8 weeks.  Before I knew it, people were giving me gifts, congratulating me. The entire staff at my job knew.  I was worried.  Timothy's family didn't even know and literally the entire staff at RMHS knew.  One teacher came to me and told me that she had heard the news in a bar in the neighborhood. I think this was a lie, but if it were true it meant that Timothy had to tell his family before they found out from someone in the neighborhood.   Tim's sister had a baby around this time and he didn't know the best time to tell his family. (The day his niece/God daughter was born was the first of many trips to the emergency room for me due to dehydration) He didn't want to steal her thunder.  I begged Timothy for over a week to tell his family.  He finally told them. (after I posted it on Facebook for 1/2 a second.  Remember that? Yeah it backfired!)  I think everyone was just as surprised as we were, but everyone was excited.  


The other stuff...
Besides being in the hospital a bunch of times due to dehydration and other small mishaps, the pregnancy was normal with no problems.  After the morning sickness was finished, my diet was INSANE! I was neurotic about what I ate.  No high fructose corn syrup (it apparently contains mercury), no fish, no lunch meat (methylates, found in lunch meats, unwind DNA that's not supposed to be unwound - according to Dr. Oz), no caffeine, no soda.... yeah so basically I ate the same 5 things the entire pregnancy.  It was interesting, but I was CRAZY about making sure the baby was going to be perfect.  I also had roots down to my ears.  My doctor advised not to get my hair done.  That killed me.  I hated looking so white trash.   


I can't think of anything else that was interesting during my pregnancy.  I gained about 30lbs which must have been mostly water weight because I lost it by the time Daniel was 4 weeks old.  Pretty uneventful pregnancy thank Goodness.  Next time I'll write about the birth!  Stay tuned!!

How it all began....

I've been wanting to start a blog for a while now, but just haven't had the time.  Daniel can now entertain himself for a few minutes at a time, which gives me a few minutes to sit and write.  

My dad passed away on October 2, 2001.  Every year we do something in his honor as a family. This year, my sister was unavailable on the actual day, so we had gotten together the weekend before.  We went to Delicious Orchards (which is by my dad's grave and where he lived) and I ate crumb buns like whoa.  I was on a crumb bun kick (literally had to taste one from every bakery in town, including the famous Carlo's) and would soon find out why!  

I didn't want to just sit in the house and be depressed on my dad's anniversary, so I asked Traci and Brenda if they wanted to go "away".  We decided to go to Amish Country and then we'd hit the Crayola factory on the way home.  We got to Amish Country so late, everything was closing.  We spent about 20 minutes there.  It was entertaining though to see how they live and I asked Traci a million questions!  We had dinner and headed to the hotel.  I was SOOOO tired, I passed out in about 1/2 a second.  All night I was having weird cramping and figured it was just a normal monthly thing.  

The DAY I found out I was pregnant:

(Left two are positives. Right a negative)

The next morning, Traci and I woke up at the ass crack of dawn as usual and Brenda was still sleeping.  Traci and I decided to go out so that we wouldn't wake Brenda up.  I still wasn't feeling good, so Traci was taking me to CVS to get Midol.  Once I told her I hadn't gotten my period, she insisted that I take a pregnancy test.  I was SURE I wasn't pregnant, so I humored her and bought one (instead of the Midol).  Next stop McDonalds for breakfast.  We took the pregnancy test into the bathroom at McDonalds (yes this really happened) and I did my thing.  Two lines.... I thought NO EFFIN WAY.. but yes there were two lines.  Traci kept saying "ahhh don't worry. Look how light the line is. Those things aren't accurate anyway!"  I then ordered half the menu at McDonalds and sat there thinking (out loud) "Is this for real.. am I dreaming? Is this really happening? What am I gonna do?!" etc etc.  Don't get me wrong, I've wanted a baby for a really long time, but I JUST found out I was pregnant in a MCDONALD'S bathroom. 

I didn't believe it.  I wanted to be sure that the CVS brand pregnancy test wasn't defective.  Next stop: Target.  I purchased a more "reputable" brand pregnancy test and took it in the Target bathroom.  Another positive.  Traci was still convinced that these tests weren't accurate and I was "fine".  It was now time to tell someone.  I didn't know who to tell first.  I got in the car (in the Target parking lot) (BTW we were in the middle of God only knows where Pennsylvania.  I'd probably never be able to get us back there) and called my mom.  She was so excited.  I thought to myself "How the hell can she be so excited? I just found out I was pregnant in a McDonald's bathroom and confirmed it in a Target bathroom."  

This can't be happening...

I still didn't believe it, so we went back to the original CVS and bought 3 more pregnancy tests for an experiment.  We went back to the hotel and explained to Brenda what was going on.  Each of us then peed in a cup and took a pregnancy test.  Traci and Brenda's tests were clearly negative.  Mine was clearly positive.  

So that's that.  That is how it all began.. and just got crazier by the day.  I'm not sure that I will ever tell Daniel that story, but it's a funny one for everyone else.